Stepping Stones

(1st a little disclaimer- In school we had to write A LOT of reflection papers. Funny that I just can't seem to get enough!)

In just 4 days now, I will be meeting people in the hospital immediately following their stroke or traumatic brain injury. Today I had the opportunity to meet people several years post their injury. They showed me the incredible potential for recovery and growth, which I would have never have known.

This all came about by one of my mentors, Barb. She is the program coordinator for Stepping Stones, a community based brain injury rehab center in Portsmouth, NH. It's located in the back of an industrial park, very wooded area, and in a beautiful building. 11 non-profits share the space, which includes a huge gym, several garden spaces, a movie room, and cafeteria. The rooms are open, spacious, and full of light from giant windows.

I sat in on an afternoon group on stigma. I was surprised at the openness, focus, and patience of each member as they each shared their thoughts. Everyone in the group seemed fully present. The group leaders provided a safe and comfortable environment which allowed for this to be a powerful experience.

I found myself relating and connecting to their stories. For although we've never shared the same experiences, they've elicited the same human emotions. Anger. Fear. Confusion. Love. Compassion. Triumph. Joy. I listened to one patient express her frustration of not being understood at the grocery store. Another man shared how he used humor. What a powerful tool in tranforming potentially hurtful and anger provoking situations! And while I don't have a brain injury, I've certainly felt the gammit of emotions and used humor as my shield.

Many members spoke about their desire to regain lost occupations such a driving and working. At one point I was nearly brought to tears as he discussed the unconditional love of his wife and caregiver, "We said for better or worse and well, this is the worst and she stands by me." As he spoke, another member smiled at his wife and caretaker and then reached for her hand. You could sense the intimate bond between them. Between a determined man who found difficulty in putting together several words and his wife who loved him just the same. I realized that these people are struggling to do what most people still struggle to do... to accept and love themselves as they are, to express themselves, and to grow a little each day.

A few notes that I walked away with on stigma. Stigmas are held in the minds of other people and institutions. They are a part of our culture. 99% of what people see is behind their eyes. So, how do you change other people's perceptions? How can you affect that 99%? How can you best teach communities so that they understand? How can you tip the culture into letting go of stereotypes? More questions than answers, but isn't that always the way?

At the end of the day, I felt the gestalt effect of my two years of learning at BSOT take hold. I can't pinpoint a certain class/lecture that prepared me for today- it just all came together. I hope this continues and builds for the months and years to come.


"Never cheat somebody on hope. You never really know how far they can go."
-Barb Kresge