"I'm a little out of practice." Jim leaned over the side of the piano which he played and whispered this in my ear for the sixth time, unable to recall the five times earlier in which he did the same thing.
Jim is the reason why I'm coming out of a 3 month writing hiatus. He has reminded me of the power of occupation.
Jim is a bit out of practice. For the past month this 58 year old man has been at the hospital, lying in bed "recovering" from multible strokes affecting various areas of his brain. These include the cerebellum, disturbing his sense of balance; the temporal, disrupting his sense of time; the hippocampus and pre-frontal lobe, erasing the ability to form new memories; the hypothalamus, disabling him from regulating his emotions; and finally the occipital, destroying his vision. Basically, he is now blind, confused, unable to remember anything from one minute to the next, dizzy 24/7, and emotionally unstable. He says it feels like a nightmare, it IS a nightmare!
That's the bad news. The good news is... he can walk, talk, and remember how to do things like tie his shoes, get dressed, and play the piano. His strength, coordination, tone, and proprioception remain basically intact. So when I walked in yesterday and we sat up at the edge of the bed without crying or complaining of dizziness I knew we had a breakthrough moment. "Come on Jim, we're going to the piano."
Darlene, his girlfriend, mentioned briefly that he could play and we had tried once before but to no avail. Dizziness and headaches spun Jim into a panic attack and we had to head back to bed. But not this time. He sat on the bench and began to clumsily play a few chords. "It feels different. I can't see what I'm doing." I responded to Jim's anxiety with a calm voice, "Just close your eyes and keep doing it. Just let it flow out. Don't judge it." And suddenly it came out! It was beautiful. Beautiful melodious chords and rhythmns, classically composed. Just as I was nearly in tears, he leaned over and whispered to me, "Do you know what this song is called?" "Amanda." He remembered my name and I burst out crying!
For over an hour and half Jim played consistently, gathering a crowd of doctors, nurses, therapists, patients, and families. Dr. Wirtz, his primary physician, walked by, paused, then remarked, "Better than any medicine." It is the longest time he has sat upright and not cried or complained of dizziness or fear. A truly powerful example of the power of occupation.
"Man, through the use of the hands as they are energized by mind and will, can influence the state of his own health." Well said, Mary Reilly.
